It’s So Sad…
…. when a three day weekend ends. And honestly, it feels like this one flew by. Which, ya know, sucks and what not.
But it wasn’t that bad. Last night Master and I fucked, twice… in a row. I love it when that happens. It seems that our sex life is some what back on track.
This morning however Master was grumpy. He woke up in a bad mood and it stuck with Him until the middle of the afternoon.
About a half hour after we got up Master wanted to get the errands done with. So we ran to the bank, hit the ATM, went to the gas station, and had them turn a $20 into two rolls of quarters. We then put air in the car’s tires. After that Master had me run into Walgreens for a few things and then we hit the grocery store and stocked up with about a week’s worth of groceries. Once we got home I took out the trash, did His laundry, and did the dishes. All of this was accomplished before 2pm. Well, the laundry was started by 2pm. The dryers downstairs suck. So that took about an hour and a half to actually be completed.
But now I have change for the vending machines at work at least, since we have quarters left over.
After Master’s grumpy mood lifted He had me kneel at His feet, gave me a hug, and apologized for being a jerk. I appreciate the fact that He at least acknowledges when He is being that way. A lot of men don’t.
He made porkchops for dinner, which were yummy. He made His own seasoning blend for them.. it was tasty!
Now we’re just relaxing and trying to enjoy the end of our three day weekend.
I’m hoping to get my review this week, but I doubt it. Work is crazy busy lately. But if about a month goes by, I plan on asking my supervisor about my review. I know they take time and that I’m in a rather large department. Plus I also know that if I get a raise, they’ll back date it. So it’s not like I’m losing money, ya know?
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Tags: misc
Spending the 4th at Home
We have spent Independence Day at home, just the two of us. Although I was right… Master did want to try and get together with some friends. He was getting a bit restless and wanted to go out. So I tried to get a hold of His god sister, but she didn’t have funds to go to a bar, and wanted us to come down to watch fireworks. Watching fireworks is really not our thing, so we declined.
Then another friend of ours called and also.. just wanted to watch fireworks. Again, we declined. I find watching fireworks to be pretty boring to be perfectly honest. Yay. Sparkly things in the air. If I wanted to see that I’d just go for a drive out into the county on a clear night and look at the stars. That is much more entertaining and soothing to me.
Last night Master fucked me. And then this morning I was kneeling at His feet, shortly after we got up, and my tits were rubbing against His cock because I was leaning forward. I felt Him getting hard and so I took Him into my mouth. I started to blow Him, but my TMJ decided “No this isn’t a good idea.”
I stopped for a minute to pop my jaw and He asked if I was okay. I told Him my TMJ was acting up and before I could try to muscle my way through it, He had me stand up, turn around, and sit on His lap. He entered me rather roughly and used the motion of His rocker/recliner to bring me to an orgasm, and then Himself. That’s always fun.
We were going to go grocery shopping today, but the grocery store we always go to was closed. Cause it’s the 4th. So that’s pushed off until tomorrow. So for lunch/dinner we had fast food.
And right now for some weird reason I’m craving nachos. Damn you Taco Bell for tempting me when I don’t want to drive. More places should deliver. Plus Master can’t eat there, the food upsets His stomach. So yeah.
Not a lot going on. We’ve been watching “RuPaul’s Drag Race” on the XBOX 360. I fucking love that show! I can’t wait until season 2. RuPaul is hilarious, and gorgeous. I used to watch her talk show, back when it was on late night TV. I miss it sometimes. Fuck searching for the Next Top Model. I could care less. But the next drag queen superstar? Oh hell yes.
Can you tell I was a bit of a “fag hag” in Jr. High? (I didn’t go to public school for high school. I was homeschooled for all four years.)
Filed under: Miscellaneous | 2 Comments
Tags: misc, sex
Reinventions
Master and I have been together for damn near 6 1/2 years. Over the years He has reinvented Himself (as far as His looks go) many times. He’s had really long hair, short hair, had a clean shaven head… He’s changed how He keeps His goatee, He’s lost quite a bit of weight.. the list continues.
He smiled at me one day and said, “Hey at least I’m keeping you interested.” He was joking around, and I know this.. but when I look back over the past 6 years I don’t think I’ve “reinvented” myself more than say.. once. And that was when I cut my hair short. And He’s not bored with me yet.
I sometimes get bored with my looks. I’ll sometimes wish I could just go get my hair professionally done and keep up with it. But 1) I’m not allowed to dye my hair (which is what I would want to do) and 2) Besides knowing that I want to dye my hair.. I have no idea what the hell I would have done to it.
Oh, not to mention the fact we can’t really afford it.
I also wish I could go drop a nice chunk of change on new clothes and heels. But again, I don’t really care for clothes shopping and I get frustrated shoe shopping. Also, we don’t have the money.
My hair is a nice shade of brown.. at least I think it is. I used to tell Master that I would love to dye my hair black and put nice deep red highlights in it. I think it would look so damn good. But now that I have the type of job that I do.. I know that wouldn’t go over well. And yes, I have to keep that sort of thing in mind. Now, just adding some deep red highlights might not be to bad.. but like I said I’m not allowed to dye my hair.
Why you ask? Well at one point in time.. gods this must have been about a year and a half into our relationship.. I had bought a box of hair dye. It was supposed to be red. I dyed my hair, it looked great when it was done. But then I went to sleep. And when I woke up.. my hair was purple. Master hated it.
So I paid to have my hair dyed back to brown. And of course first they had to make me blonde so the brown would actually show up. And eventually the brown would leave my hair and I would be stuck with all this blonde in it, until finally my hair grew long enough that I could hack off all of the previously dyed hair. He has never let me live that down. If I bring up dying my hair He usually says one word and one word only. “Purple.”
And then I shut up about it.
So yeah. He keeps changing as the years go by.. and I’m sure He’ll change more. Me? I seem to be stuck where I am because I can never decide what’ll look good. He’s more of a risk taker when it comes to such things. Me? If it ends up making me less attractive to Him, I’d probably break down and bawl my eyes out. I’d be thinking to myself, “Had to go and do it didn’t you… just couldn’t stay where you were, with what you knew worked.”
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Tags: misc
Ups & Downs
Today had it’s ups and downs.. and they continue.
Master didn’t have to start work until 11am. So I was up before Him for a change. I got ready for work and after B called to let me know he was here, I went into the bedroom and kissed Master goodbye as He slept.
I started work a half hour early, just to get some extra time in. But after that first half hour went by time seemed to slow down. Probably because I know that starting tomorrow, it’s a three day weekend. Master called me right before He started work at 11am, and we talked for a few minutes.
Work for me, went fine. It wasn’t until I got to the bus stop that I had a bit of a “down” moment. When I’m waiting for the bus, I always stand right at the bus stop. I don’t sit down or anything. I just stand there waiting. No big deal right? Well the stop I stand at is a stop for two different bus lines. One of them drives by that stop every time I’m there. It never actually stops. I’m assuming it is not a scheduled stop at that particular point in time. I don’t really care, because I don’t take that one. Shortly there after my bus line shows up and I’m on my merry way.
Well today, the first bus line (the one that I don’t take) was making it’s way up the street and a very, very large guy goes up to the stop. I move away thinking he is going to flag the bus down in hopes that it’ll stop. I didn’t want to be rude, so I stepped to the side. Well as usual that bus doesn’t stop, it just keeps on going. The guy didn’t try to flag the bus down, he just stood there. That is until it turned the corner and went past him. Then he flipped the bus off and starting swearing rather loudly. I didn’t say anything, or make a face, I was minding my own business.
The guy turns around and faces me. He then cusses me out. I’m standing there w/ my eyebrow raised wondering why he’s yelling at me. Then he says, “I hope you didn’t scare that bus off by standing there.” I looked at him like he was nuts and said, “I seriously doubt that.” He then says, “Oh yes you did. And that was the bus I needed. Now I get to wait a half hour for the next one you bitch.”
As he is talking he took a step toward me. I side stepped him and continued to do so, basically walking around him, giving him a wide birth, as he continued to yell. Another guy who is waiting for the bus I wanted (I only know this because he got on that bus) takes a step toward the guy yelling at me and almost steps between us, but not quite. The guy who was yelling stopped and started mumbling under his breath and walked to the bench and sat down, continuing to glare at me.
I wasn’t scared, hell I wasn’t even worried. I had my cell phone in my hand, so I knew I could dial 911 if nothing else, plus there were plenty of people around me and it was a short jog to a door that leads into a bank. But I just couldn’t understand how someone could think I would “scare away” a bus. I’m 5ft1, standing there in jeans, a business casual shirt, a jean jacket, and a messenger bag.
So yeah, that sucked.
Master had asked me to stop at the gas station and buy cigs once I was off the bus. Thankfully the bus drops me off literally a block from said gas station, so I did that.. came home.. took the dog out.. took my bath.. and am now waiting for Master to get home. It’s already damn near 8:30pm. So much for only doing 8 hours in one day like the head boss said due to “financial restraints”.
He has no idea when He’s getting out of work, and each time He calls to check in, He sounds more pissed off, more tired, and more sore. I understand all of the above, and I’m sitting here wanting to start my weekend with my Master.
His job doesn’t know what the fuck it is doing. And how much you want to bet He didn’t get a lunch today either? Ya know, like damn near every other day this week.
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Tags: misc, Work
Today Sucked
Today simply sucked. And not in a pleasing way either!
Today started off somewhat normal, except for the fact that Master had to go into work early. I got up at 6:30am and He was already at work. He called me shortly there after to tell me that yet again they had Him come in early for nothing. They “forgot” to tell Him that He wasn’t going on the job He was supposed to go on anymore. So yeah, that sucked.
I go to work and it starts off fine, just fine. In fact the work flow was kind of slow. I should have been worried right then and there, but I wasn’t. Then suddenly something comes down from one of the supervisors telling us that certain fees we bill our clients have changed and all files that are “x” amount old need to be updated. Suddenly, my nice slow day becomes busy as hell. Thankfully it was after my lunch break. But then, in the middle of this… the guy who was supposed to be there earlier in the day to fix the printer I use decided to show up. So I couldn’t print, and I need to print. It took about a half hour for that to be fixed, and by that time I only had about an hour before I had to leave.
So I call my trainer and she tells me what to do and then tells me what to make up for tomorrow. So tomorrow might suck as well. Joy.
Master got out early enough to go home take a shower, and pick me up from work. So that was a good thing. But I had a headache and was tired. Master was also tired and sore. So we made quite the pair.
On the ride home we stopped at the landlord’s office and dropped off the rent check. Bye bye hard earned money.
When we got home we ate dinner and watched Jurassic Park. Gods I remember that movie from when I was a kid. It came out in ‘93 so I was a whopping 10 years old. Master was 18. I still love that movie. And when we send that back to Netflix we should get Jurassic Park 2! And then Jurassic Park 3! Yay!
Other than that, Master and I are being lazy right now. He doesn’t have to go into work until 11am, which means He won’t be out of work in time to pick me up. So I have to talk to B in the morning to see if he can give me a ride home. If not, the bus it is.
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Tags: misc, Work
Yadda, Yadda, Yadda
It’s only Tuesday. Boo!
Only two days to go until the weekend though. It’s a three day weekend this week due to July 4th. But this week (the whole whopping two days of it) is ticking by ever so slowly.
I like my job, I really do. But it’s frustrating as hell when time goes by so slowly. Plus it looks like this weekend it’s just Master and myself. *gasp* Although I have a feeling that will change as the weekend gets closer. Don’t ask me why I think that. I just do.
Work was pretty uneventful today. Master picked me up and we went home. He took His shower and we had pizza for dinner. We were supposed to drop off the rent check and go grocery shopping this evening but Master wasn’t in the best of moods and rent isn’t really due until tomorrow, and obviously we could eat without going grocery shopping… sssooo… we are putting it all off until tomorrow. Hopefully He gets out of work on time.
Other than that there isn’t a lot going on right now. Exciting, isn’t it?
Hell there isn’t even a lot going on in my head right now. So it’s not like I can delve into my gray matter and yank something out of there. I’m just sort of here, ya know?
Maybe tomorrow I’ll have more to blog about.
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Tags: misc, Work
Master, Daddy, Sir
I actually used to have Master’s phone number listed in my cell phone as “MasterDaddySir”. Why? Because I call Him all three things, and well.. I found it amusing.
Kaya did a post today about some of the restrictions her husband puts on her that sometimes reminds her of the restrictions a parent would put on a child. You can see that particular post here.
I’ve personally always been reminded of parent/child restrictions regarding some of the rules Master has for me. And no, I don’t always like them. And yes sometimes I sit here and go, “I’m 26.. what the fuck..” but not out loud.
But the restrictions Master places on me that are more “child like”, He passes as health and/or safety concerns.
A bedtime is one of them. I don’t actually have a set bed time. Normally Master and I are in bed (although maybe or maybe not asleep) by 11pm during the week. This is because we have to get up somewhere between 6 – 6:30am. So when 11pm rolls around Master will start turning off the TV or computer and say, “Bedtime Kitten.” And I help with getting the animals settled and cleaning up in the living room and join Him in the bedroom. Most times I beat Him there and I set the alarms for us. Sometimes I’m not really tired, but I have to ask permission if I want to stay up later than 11pm during the week. He then decides whether it is okay or not. It usually is declined if I have to work the next day. He tells me no, that I have to sleep. And then we curl up and that’s that.
I don’t really mope about this, because He’s going to bed with me. On the few rare occasions where He has told me I need to go to bed, but He’s staying up.. I mope. Why? Because I want to be near Him. So I’ll ask if I can sleep on my slave mat or on the couch instead. Normally He lets me get away with this.
On the weekend, there is no set time really. He just starts shutting things down, and says “Bedtime Kitten”, like usual.Same rules apply. I can request to stay up, but of course that may be declined and I have to go to bed anyway.
Another one is when I’m coming home from work and I’m taking the bus, or even if I’m crossing the street to get to where He is parked. This is a newer rule.
He saw me cross against a “Do Not Walk” light one time to get to the car where He was, and I was scolded once I got in the car. I argued that the cars were far enough back that I knew I could make it. He declared health and safety concerns, so I am no longer allowed to cross the street when the light says “Do Not Walk”. I have to wait, even if there is no traffic.
Oh another one is that if it is getting dark out, I am not allowed to sit on the computer without having the light on. Health concerns, I know, but it reminds me of when I was growing up and I’d be watching the TV or reading a book in a dark room and my mom or dad would walk in and go, “Turn on a light! You’re going to go blind!”
But we do somewhat play with the Daddy/baby girl thing in our relationship. So I guess none of this seems out of place to me. I take to it naturally. I don’t mean like I’m sitting here in pigtails playing with stickers.. I mean that I call Him Daddy and He calls me baby, baby girl, little one, etc. I like being held, I sit on His lap as often as possible, etc.
That’s about the extent of it however.
Plus it’s really no different then some of the punishments. Like the belt. Yeah, I got the belt a few times as a kid.. but Master has used that punishment quite a few times over the years. I’ve been spanked more times in our 6 years than I ever was growing up. Weird huh?
I find the topic interesting and wanted to post about it. Thanks for the idea Kaya. 
Sometimes when I try explain why I call Master “Daddy”, I can’t really find a way to explain it. I mean He’s only 8 years older than I am. But I still look to Him as an Elder. I look to Him as a protector as well. And that also plays into why I call Him Daddy. He is extremely protective of me. Like I said, it’s not “traditional” age play. That kind of stuff squicks me out. (No offense meant to those of you who enjoy that kink.. it’s just not my thing.)
But what we do? It suits me just fine. I’ve asked Master how He would explain the Daddy/baby girl aspect of our realationship as well. He normally just shrugs and goes, “It’s what we do.” I guess, in the end, that’s the explanation that is necessary.
Filed under: Submission | 5 Comments
Tags: Domination, Master, slave, Submission
I Love Being Married
I really do. When Master and I were first together and He told me He never wanted to get married again, since His first marriage had left a bad taste in His mouth.. I didn’t think much of it. I was like, “Cool. Whatever.”
But as our relationship grew, I knew I wanted to marry Him. I wanted to be able to call Him my Husband. And for nearly 2 1/2 years, I have had that privilege.
I don’t know what the differences are, but I love being married. I really do. I mean, we don’t really act any differently than we did when we were “just dating” or engaged. But there is something that has changed. I have no idea what, but I love it. I am so proud to be able to say, “This is my Husband.”
I don’t know what the difference is than when I said, “This is my boyfriend.” I guess the level of commitment is better voiced? I don’t want that to come across wrong. I know people can be very committed to one another and never get married. That’s how Master and I were before we got married.
Eh. I don’t know if this is making a lot of sense. All I know, is that I love Master.. and I love being married to Him. I know He pisses me off sometimes, and I piss Him off sometimes.. and yes.. we go through ruts and what not. But I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for what we have.
As far as how this weekend has gone. Yesterday we had dinner w/ His mother. It didn’t last long. Maybe an hour. His mom hurt her knee so she wanted to leave shortly after we were done eating. She got Him two new pairs of jeans. They fit. But the problem is, is that Master only really wears carpenter jeans. He likes having all the extra pockets. And He told her this on the phone. So what does she do? Buys relaxed fit jeans. He put them on today, and we were about the head out the door. Right when He started trying to find a place to put His cell, His wallet, and His cigs He became frustrated and immediatley changed into the carpenter jeans we got Him a few weeks ago.
So yeah, I don’t know how often He’s going to wear the ones His mom got.
We came home last night after dinner and relaxed. I put on lingerie and He made good use of me that night.
This morning we went down to my mother’s. That was a bit of a pain in the ass because they had three exits closed and the interstate down to two lanes. From there we went to my dad’s. Each place we only stayed about two hours, but we have to get up early tomorrow, so we wanted some time together this evening.
We’re just chilling. Master is playing a video game and I’m on the internet. We’re just trying to unwind. Hopefully this upcoming weekend is a little less filled with people other than us. I enjoyed it. I had a great weekend, but now I want some us time, aside from the evenings after work. How likely is that? Probably slim to none.
Filed under: Marriage, Miscellaneous | 4 Comments
Tags: love, Marriage, misc
Had A Damn Good Time
I didn’t post last night because we got home somewhat late. And I was a bit buzzed, so I wasn’t sure how much sense I would make.
But let’s start at the beginning.
I got out of work at noon, and took the bus home. I didn’t know what time Master was getting out of work, so I tried to do everything I needed to in a hurry. On the bus ride home I had decided I wanted to be freshly shaved and have make-up on by the time He walked in the door. So once I got home I took care of the animals and then set to it.
First I took a bath and got myself clean and shaved. Once that was done, I put on eyeliner and mascara. I decided not to wear lipstick because I knew we’d be eating and I didn’t feel like having to fix it every few minutes.
Once all that was done, I stayed undressed and just chilled on the computer. Once Master called to let me know He was on His way home, I knelt on my slave mat after making sure the doors were unlocked. So I was kneeling when He walked in the door, which seemed to please Him. I had been thinking about the rut we were in, and how I hadn’t worn make-up in a while. So that is why I had decided to put that on, hoping it would please Him.
He commented on that fact as soon as He was comfortable. I smiled at that.
While Master took His shower, He asked me what I was wearing for the night. I said I had waited to ask Him what He wanted me in. He told me to put on something that will keep me cool, yet be comfortable at the same time. I didn’t go with my usual choice of jeans and a t-shirt when He tells me to be comfortable. I’m proud of myself.
I picked a summer dress out and put it on. Master saw it before He hopped into the shower and said that it was a good choice.
While He was actually in the shower, I picked out a pair of thigh highs and put those on. Then my 5 inch heels and of course my slave anklets. I hadn’t worn those in a while because the clasps had been sticking. But I messed with them a little and they work fine now. Yay!
When Master was out of the shower, He saw my stockings and said that I had done well in picking out my outfit. *beams* He then asked if I had chosen the dress for tonight, and then the stockings for when we got home. I giggled and said, “Yeah that was the plan.” He laughed and called me a slut before He started getting dressed as well.
We stopped at the grocery store. We were going to have a BBQ at His god sister’s house, and it was a “everyone bring something” kind of thing. So we picked up beer brats, chips, and soda.
Then we headed on down. We arrived before anyone else did. So we got to hang out with His god sister and His aunt. That was really cool. They are the kind of people I can just hang with and not feel like there are awkward silences just because Master isn’t in the room. (That’s how I feel when we are with His mother.. like I have nothing to talk about, or I am afraid to crack a joke..)
Shortly there after another person showed up. She is the god sister’s friend and someone Master used to hang out with as well and hasn’t seen in about 15 years. We started setting up the grill, and lawn chairs outside. But we waited for B to show up before we started cooking. B, as in the guy who takes me to work each morning.
Then Master cooked on the grill. *smiles* I don’t know why but I enjoyed watching Him cook on a grill. Weird. We can’t have a charcoal grill where we are, due to our lease. We could have a propane grill, but we both hate propane grills… so we’d rather not grill at all.
We all talked, joked around, and had a good time while we ate. It turned into an early birthday celebration for His god sister and a belated one for Him. So we all decided to go to a bar shortly after we were done eating. On our way there, B called up his kinda sorta girlfriend and she met us there later.
It was a hole in the wall bar, but Master and I love those kind of bars. We don’t like huge crowds, bad music, and all that jazz. We prefer smaller bars where if you bring a group of people, you’re not likely to lose track of one another or have to deal with things like not being able to hear one another. The god sister’s ex boyfriend also showed up.
Master, B, the god sister, and the ex boyfriend all played pool. I love watching pool games. I don’t play myself, and have no interest in playing. I like watching other people play the game though, a lot. We were all joking around, talking shit, you know.. the usual. It was a blast! Although B’s kinda sorta girlfriend didn’t talk much, didn’t do much, and just kind of sat there. I mean yeah I know she didn’t know most of the people there, but still.. she didn’t even try. I didn’t know some of the people there either, I still talked to them, cracked jokes, and all that.
I had 2 Mike’s Hard Lemonade (omg.. I’d never had one before.. it is SO replacing Smirnoff Ice for me) and Master, His god sister, and I all did a shot to say cheers to their birthdays.
The entire time we were at the bar Master and I were flirting. He allowed me to cop feels when He was sitting at the table and no one could see. He even moved His leg so I’d have better access. *purr* He picked me up off the ground, we kissed and hung on one another most of the night. He checked to see how wet I was, again at a table where people couldn’t really see. Yay for not wearing underwear!
I nipped His neck and ear a few times and He did the same to me. He would sit on a bar stool and have me stand in front of Him while holding me. I loved it. I forgot how we are at a bar we’re comfortable in. And we were instantly comfortable at this one. I had missed that. Don’t get me wrong, we don’t drink much at all. But we still like hanging out with our friends in small bars. You don’t have to get drunk to enjoy yourself at a bar. Master only had two jack and cokes and one shot of Blackhaus. I had my 2 Mike’s and a shot of Blackhaus. And that was over the course of about 5 hours.
We played music on the jukebox and just enjoyed ourselves. It was a blast!
We decided to head out around 12:30am, because we had to go home and take the dog out. Plus we had both gotten up at 6:30am.
On the ride home I was really chatty, because I was buzzed. But I wasn’t drunk. Not even close. I don’t like how I am when I’m drunk, I get depressed.
When we got home Master took care of the dog, and while I was in the bathroom, standing at the sink, He stood behind me and lifted my dress so He could rub His bare cock against my ass. His hands roamed around under my dress, grabbing my hips, my tits, my stomach, my thighs. He then smacked my ass and walked away.
I took my dress off and kept my stockings and heels on, and laid down on my slave mat. But eventually Master told me I should take my heels off, because He knew my feet were starting to hurt. I did, but kept the stockings on.
We stayed up and talked, smoked our cigs, and just relaxed. Eventually we retired to the bedroom and He claimed me. It was absolutely amazing. It was rough, it was passionate, and it had me cross eyed at the end.
I cleaned Him off, took off my stockings, and scented myself. Master and I then curled up and fell asleep, both tired and in really good moods.
Today we’re going to dinner with His mother.
As I was telling Master last night, before the incredible sex, I think that’s what we needed. To go out, hang out, and have a good time. Whenever we go out like that we, for whatever reason, get really flirty with one another. We drop not so subtle hints, we cop feels, we hold one another.. the whole nine yards. Whenever we have a really good time, that’s what happens.
I think we may be breaking out of that rut we were in. We’re already trying to set up another get together for the midle of July with a group of friends.
Filed under: Marriage, Miscellaneous, Submission | 4 Comments
Tags: Domination, good times, Marriage, Master, misc, sex, slave, Submission
“I Get Off”
I heard this song not that long ago on the radio. Not to bad.
Filed under: Music | 2 Comments
Slow Thursday
Well, yet another Thursday that went by slowly and didn’t want to end… but oh well. It’s almost over now. I think part of the reason why it went by so slowly today is because I know I get out at noon tomorrow, and I’m anxious to start the weekend.
Master had another long, tiring day at work. 
He called me literally two minutes before I was going to clock out to tell me that He was just then getting out of His job. So I told Him I would just take the bus home, since I knew He was sore and tired and just wanted to go home. Plus what sense did it make to have Him drive a half hour to where I was, and me wait there, and then drive another half hour home… none at all. Knowing the bus route home has been freeing in a way. I don’t have to worry about scrambling to find someone who isn’t working to come pick me up, or wait over an hour for said ride home. So I clocked out, and called Master back on my cell while I waited for the bus and He drove home.
He sounded grateful, in a way, to not have to come get me. I know He doesn’t mind picking me up… but I also know that sometimes He wishes He could just go straight home because He’s had a long day. I don’t mind.
The bus took forever. Stupid festival traffic slowed everything down for a while. And then at one of the bus stops, one bus driver got off, and another got on. But they sat there and talked through two green lights before finally switching who was driving and the other one left. Bastards.
Once I got home, we ordered pizza, and then watched a movie. I took my bath and asked if He wanted me in anything. He said no, not tonight. So I’m just relaxing right now, or trying to.
I just feel kind of here at the moment.
I also asked if He would like me to beg tonight. It wasn’t that I was trying to get out of it. I just don’t want to be annoying, and He looks like He’s pretty beat. I think the three days of being out in the sun, when there is a heat advisory, is catching up with Him. Although He may have a short day tomorrow. We can hope. And then we’ll head over to His god sister’s.
It’s kind of weird calling her His god sister… since neither of us are Christian.. but that’s what she is. So whatever.
Speaking of not being a Christian. One of my coworkers today was very hyper.. she was laughing, joking, and so I smiled and said, “Looks like someone had a lot of caffiene today.”
Innocent comment. Unexpected reply.
Her response was this: “Nope. But I had a big cup of Jesus this morning.”
I just stood there. I respect other people’s beliefs.. but if I were to tell her that I had meditated and talked with Mother Wolf this morning she’d look at me like I was a nut. But I remained respectful. I smiled and nodded. I started to walk away. She followed me.
She asked me if I believed in God. So I paused, kind of cocked my head to the side and was about to say, “Define God…” when she followed up her question with.. “You beleive in something?” To which I confidently said, “Yes. You could put it that way.”
I really don’t like explaining my beliefs to Christians that are some what … fanactical. Which she is.
So she shook her head, and said, “We’re going to have to work on you then. Jesus makes you want to dance.” And she, I shit you not, to dance a little bit. I just laughed and walked faster.. away… far.. far.. away.
First, what is this we stuff. And second, you’re not going to change my mind. Now granted I could have said a number of things. I could have said, “I was raised Lutheran, and personally, I think it is all a bunch of bullshit. I have found my path, and I am glad that you have found your’s.”
Then again, I could have also said, “Listen you Jesus humping psycho…”
But I didn’t do either of those things. When it comes to discussing religion in the work place, I don’t like to lie, but I also don’t like to be specific. I do not need to justify anything to a coworker, or anyone else for that matter… except for Master. Because He is not just my Master, and my Husband, He is my Teacher, and my Elder.
Talking about religion at work makes me uncomfortable. If someone talks about how they went to church over the weekend, that’s one thing. I don’t mind at all. It doesn’t bother me. Or if someone says a little prayer while they are stressed out. Hey, I get it.. that’s what you do. No problems here.
But when you start talking like that particular coworker.. I don’t like it, and I don’t appreciate it.
But I also don’t want to make a big deal about it either. Now if she were to start discriminating against me because I am not a Christian, or started hassling me about how I need to find Jesus (who by the way, has been behind the couch the whole time) I would speak with my supervisor. Until that point, I don’t see a reason.
I do have to admit though, that although it is normal to see someone walking around with a cross on a necklace, or even one posted in their workstation… I think someone would throw a shit fit if I put up a medicine wheel. Damn us heathens, and our wicked ways.
Filed under: Miscellaneous, Work | 8 Comments
Tags: misc, Work
Day By Day
It’s Wednesday. The work week is now half over. Work wasn’t that bad today. They gave everyone free lunch, sodas, and bottled water. So that was pretty neat.
Poor Master was out in this damn heat again all day today. So needless to say by the time He picked me up He looked pretty tired. Our friend had picked up the game for us, so we drove out to his place, I handed him the money, and he gave me the game. Master and I went home and I watched Master play His birthday present for a while. He now has Overlord 2. He loved the first game, and so far it seems He is loving this one as well.
After tomorrow is done, it’ll be the beginning of a busy weekend. I’m hoping Master gets out at a decent time on Friday because we need to hit the grocery store and then head down to His god sister’s for a BBQ. It’s one of those BBQ’s where everyone brings a little something, which is why we need to hit the grocery store.
After my bath Master decided He wanted me nude for this evening, although He was kind enough to allow me to wear one of His denim shirts. Yes, I know it’s fucking hot out, but when we have the AC on I get cold rather quickly.
The heat has pretty much zapped His energy. Me? I’m just sort of here at the moment. But hey… three day weekend next week. Yay! My office is closing on July 3rd, to celebrate July 4th. So that’s pretty cool. Master should have off as well.
I’m a little nervous about this BBQ on Friday though. I know Master (of course) and B (the guy who takes me to work) .. but I’ve only met His god sister a handful of times.. and the other people in attendance I don’t know at all. Plus it’s a get together for those of the group that used to hang out when they were teens/kids. So I’m worried that they’ll be reminsing most of the night and I’m not going to know what the hell they are talking about. But oh well, I’m sure I’ll have a good time anyway.
Filed under: Miscellaneous, Work | 4 Comments
Tags: misc, Work
90 Days
Last night, after I took my bath and Master had read my blog post.. we relaxed in the living room for a good hour with none of the electronics on and just talked, which was nice.
We joked around but also talked serious for a while as well. We said that perhaps once a month we should set one night aside where it’s just us. No friends, no family, no electronics.. just us.. going out and having a good time.. sort of like a date night. It’ll add to our already in place “tradition” of going out to dinner together every Friday. Although this Friday we won’t be going out to eat, we’ll be going to His god sister’s for a cook out.
We then went to bed and Master started playing with my tits, which lead to me playing with His cock while He switched back and forth between squeezing and carressing my neck. He claimed me and allowed me to cum several times before filling me with His cum. I cleaned Him off, scented myself, and we curled up and fell asleep.
This morning we both had to go into work early, but we got a little time together before we had to head out the door and go our seperate ways.
Today was my official 90 days at work. I didn’t get my review yet, but I’ll be sure to let ya’ll know how it goes once I do. And I made it the whole 90 days without missing one day of work. 
Master picked me up from work and we went to the game store, because the game I’m getting Him for His birthday was supposed to be out. But it wasn’t. So we cancelled our reservation at that particular store because they always do this shit. And so we are getting it tomorrow at a different store.
We came home, ate dinner, and relaxed for a while. It’s been a pretty normal evening, although we’ve taken time to talk and be more affection than usual. I’m enjoying that.
In fact I’m going to cut this blog post here so I can spend more time with my Husband.
Filed under: Marriage, Miscellaneous, Work | 4 Comments
Tags: Marriage, misc, Work
A Rut Is A Rut Is a Rut
This is somewhat based off of what Master posted about today, however.. it is something I’ve been meaning to post about anyway. I’ve just been trying to find a way to put it.
Before anyone gets their panties in a twist, before I read Master’s post today, He told me on the way home from work that He wasn’t mad at me, that we’re both at fault, and some how we’ve gotten ourselves into a rut.
And we are. I’ve had my collar and cuff back for a while now. And since that time, I have been told I am being good, that I am doing well, etc and so on. But we’ve both seen, although not discussed, that we’ve placed ourselves into a rut and we both seem to not really care. Or at least not until recently. Obviously we didn’t care, or didn’t notice, because we didn’t talk about it before now. And we haven’t fully talked about it yet. We’ve just admitted that yes, we are in a rut and now we’re each doing our own posts about it.
A few sections of His post really tugged at me.
First:
“On the other hand she sometimes will come on all sex kitten and horny and I’m just like ..yawn I’m tired need sleep now. Like the thought of sex alone is enough to make me want to just crash out. It isn’t because she has lost any appeal to me at all she is to me as hot and sexy and attractive as I have ever found her to be. What it is how ever I couldn’t say because I just don’t know myself.”
Yeah. I’ve noticed this. And I’m sure He’s noticed my “subtle” reactions. This has been on a steady decline the longer He’s been at His job. We used to have sex at least every other day. If we didn’t, there was something wrong. And by something wrong I mean that one or both of us were sick, or we were so tired that we could barely raise our heads off the pillows to kiss goodnight.
Yes, last weekend we fucked twice in a row, one orgasm after another. But lately, that has been the exception rather than a rule. We hardly ever have sex during the week. And during the weekend? We usually wait until it’s bed time. And then by that time, one or both of us are sore and tired. We used to just get horny and go fuck. That still happens, it just a lot more rare. And yes, I have a high sex drive.. so this is highly noticeable to me. I want sex, often. Multiple times. And I know His job wears Him right the hell out. What the hell do I expect when He’s putting 14 to 16 hour days? For Him to have the energy to manhandle me and fuck the living hell out of me? Yeah right. Not gonna happen. And I know this. I try to remind myself of this, so that I don’t get emotional about it or start to think it’s me.
Why would I think it’s me? I have self image issues. For instance, I put on a size 0 pair of pants today. Oh, they fit, they are just a little bit tighter than they used to be. I’ve put on a whopping (note the sarcasm) 10 pounds over the past year. Oh yes, before anyone points that out… I know it sounds fucking ridiculous. Ten pounds in a year? Oh no! I’m up to a massive 110 lbs. Someone quick! Hide the fried foods and put me on a diet. *rolls eyes* But when I look in the mirror, I look at myself and I go.. “You need to lose weight.”
Like I said, I have self image issues. Also, before anyone freaks out, no I don’t stop eating, and no I don’t make myself throw up. I do not have an eating disorder. And of course since I’m thinking these things.. He must be. Ya know, cause He’s shallow. Please. He’s not. And I know this. But I’m worried about not looking attractive to Him anymore. I mean when I met Him I weighed more than I do now. I was 120 lbs, the most I’ve honestly weighed in my life.. and He wanted to fuck my brains out right there in the food court of the mall where we first met face to face.
And so, when we aren’t having sex.. or at least not as often.. my self image issues rear their ugly heads and I freak out internally. I start to think, “Oh it must because I put on a little weight..” or “I must not look as good today..” It’s nasty, and I hate it. Have I mentioned that I used to be diagnosed with clinical depression? Yeah. It shows doesn’t it? I hate thinking these things. Because I don’t think I’m ugly. I really don’t.
I don’t think I’m like the hottest thing on the face of this planet. I know there are women out there far more attractive than I am.. and some of them had to pay for that privilege. I have flaws. I have scars, I have old zit marks, I have stretch marks, I have lots of little flaws all over. And while I sometimes wish I could have perfectly smooth and unmarred skin, I know it’s not going to happen. And I accept it. I don’t freak out about it.
But the sex isn’t just about the sex, it’s about the intamacy. It’s about the connection, and it’s about the need.. the lust.. the knowing how badly He wants me and how badly I want Him. And when He works I try to tell myself ahead of time, like before I even get home from work, how tired and sore He is going to be. How phyiscally intense His job truly is. That way, when He says, “Baby I’m sorry, but I’m just so damn tired..” I’m expecting it and I don’t get all bat shit crazy about it. Instead I do what I should do. I smile. I kiss His forehead and I tell Him I understand. Because what kind of a shrew of a wife would I be if I didn’t? He goes out there and busts His ass all day, so we have two incomes… what am I gonna do? Whine, bitch, moan, complain that I’m not getting enough attention. That my desires aren’t being met? *snort* Those thoughts make me wanna slap myself, knock on my own thick skull and go “Hello bitch, it’s not about you. Your man is tired. He’s busted His ass, and He just wants to rest. So knock it the fuck off.” Because I honestly am not really like that. I detest the fact that such thoughts wiggle through my brain waves.
But then the weekend comes. And if He has off, and we haven’t done much.. I wonder why when we go to bed He just wants to sleep. Those nasty, “It’s me.. It’s something I’ve done or not done..” sneak on in. This past weekend, we had sex once. We had the whole weekend to ourselves.
Yes, yes I know.. sex lives, as all other things, go up and down. But it’s like I said.. I wonder. I worry. Last night we went to bed and we laid down. He told me to curl up and get some rest. I sighed. He said, “I love you.” I said, “I love You too.” But it wasn’t with a lot of emotion because I was trying not to become emotional about it. He said, “Well that sounded like you meant it.” And I said, “I do. I’m just horny.” And He said nothing. I don’t think He knew what to say, really. So I turned onto my side and we went to sleep.
Also I don’t want it to sound like the lack of sex is on all Him or His job. Because it’s not. I will sometimes be very horny, and I don’t beg.. or I don’t try to seduce Him. I just kind of drown myself in day to day bullshit because I’m afraid He’s to tired. Or I am tired and sore. I’ve basically built it up so much in my head, that it’s like.. I’m afraid to initiate it. Also, because I’m wanting Him to initiate it. But if I’m acting like I don’t want to, by not doing what I’m supposed to be doing.. begging.. scenting.. asking what He wants me in… how the hell is that supposed to make Him feel? Oh I assume like it makes me feel… like the other person isn’t interested.
Funny that. For the past six years we haven’t been able to keep our hands off of one another. Where the fuck did this start. Not when. But where. How the hell did this happen?
He is so incredibly sexy to me. I love the way He looks, how He feels inside me. I love how He smells, and what He tastes like. I love His weight on top of me. I love the roughness, and I love the gentle caresses. I love Him. And yet… this is where we ended up.
And sometimes I wonder if it is effecting our marriage. You know that old saying.. “Problems in the bedroom will follow you down the hall..”
Another thing He said that tugged at me was this:
“Damn what happened? We used to be so different.”
Amen. We did. We used to be a lot different. Working or not, tired or not, no matter what time we used to have to get up in the morning, we’d stay up and talk for hours. Literally until we were like, “Damn, we better get some sleep cause we have to get up in four hours.”
We’d have sex no matter how tired we were, because we just wanted one another that much. He’d lead and I would follow without question. Our affection level is almost at the same level. It’s dipped a little bit. I’m afraid to start it sometimes, because I don’t want to try and have it lead to other things and be told no or for Him to be so sore that I get a little to playful with my affection and it hurts Him. The list goes on.
We talked more, we had more fun. Now? During the week, we go to work, we come home, we eat dinner, we go on the computer, we watch a movie, and we go to sleep. During the weekend, unless it has actual plans with other people.. we sit around going.. “So what do you wanna do?” and then neither of us can come up with an idea or if we do, we can’t afford it or it doesn’t sound so appealing once we start getting ready to head out the door, and we drop it… and then what? We do what we do during the week. We eat, we watch a movie, we go on the computer.
Ruts fucking suck and I’m tired of this one.
And ruts can kill everything. Seriously. It happened to my parents. The rut gets deeper and deeper, and neither person in the couple work to fix it.. and so one or the other gets bored, or gets angry, or resentful.. placing all the blame on one person’s shoulders and that grows with time. A rut can lead to all of these things.. which turns it all to poison.
I’m not saying I’m bored with my Husband, or resentful, or angry. I’m just saying that I don’t want this to happen to us. Especially since such things can sneak up on ya so damn quickly, in such a way that you don’t really notice it or if you do you think nothing of it and figure it’ll pass.
Hell this rut snuck up on us. And neither of us said shit until today.
Marriage is work. Dynamics within a marriage are work. If you don’t work at it, it crumbles.
Filed under: Marriage, Submission | 12 Comments
Tags: Domination, love, Marriage, Master, ruts, sex, slave, Submission
More Changes In Plans
We were supposed to go down to my mother’s today. But about a half hour before we were going to head down, she called telling me that she had to babysit my nephews. So we decided to switch it to next week Sunday.
So yeah. The busy weekend that was supposed to happen this week… ended up being the weekend we had alone. Next weekend? That’s going to be the busy one. Friday is His god sister’s, Saturday is probably going to be His mother’s, and Sunday is my mother’s. But that may be a better thing, because that’ll be paycheck week.
Although for some odd reason, it doesn’t really feel like we had the weekend to ourselves. Maybe because it wasn’t planned that way? I don’t know. But that’s what it was. We had Friday night alone, Saturday alone, and today alone.
Although we are going a little stir crazy. Yesterday Master was restless, and today I was restless. But then I got a headache that wouldn’t go away, so that squashed the restlessness.
We honestly havn’t done much this weekend. We bought dog and rabbit food, a new fan, ate food, watched movies, and watched TV series on Netflix. That’s been about it.
I’m really hoping Master’s job doesn’t call Him in next weekend. We have a lot to do, and I want to do it all. I want to go to His god sister’s. She is very nice, and we havn’t seen her in over 2 years. His mom’s? Well, I just want to get that done. Sometimes it’s very difficult to get an “appointment” with her. My mom? I just wanna see her.
I’m hoping that sometime in the next month I can get some new work clothes. I found this nice shop that sells business casual clothing that I like the style of. It’s New York & Company. I saw a store at the local mall, and I went on their website.. and OMG I want some of those clothes. This is one of those rare “girl” moments, where I want to go clothes shopping. I normally loathe it, but for some reason I have this itch to buy new clothes.. and yes… new high heels. I would love to just take like.. $200.. and blow it on clothes and heels. Some of the clothing at these stores I would even like to wear outside of work. And I have a coupon! Saving money on clothes always rocks. Especially if you can find something on clearance to begin with.
I would also like to buy some new nighties. I have one that I love… and since I got my piercings, I’ve been wearing it to bed a lot. I don’t like wearing a bra to bed, so I figured this is sexy, and protects my piercings at the same time. I havn’t had a problem yet with my nipple piercings getting snagged or anything of that nature. So I figure if I have more choices in nighties, it won’t be so boring for Master while I’m sleeping and for Him to wake up to.
Filed under: Miscellaneous | 4 Comments
Tags: clothes shopping, family, misc
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Your Paw Prints
