Last night Master and I retired to the bedroom, curled up and fell asleep. In the morning I got up and got ready for work and spent some time with Master before I had to head out the door. Now, before I continue I have to say that this post is going to jump around, and it may not make a lot of sense at times. But I just need to write. Today was just stressful. Between work and one of our friend’s who works at the same place I do trying to do a pity party, it was just blah. But I didn’t give into the pity party. This may sound selfish, but Master and I have our own lives to worry about right now and our own situations to deal with. Plus, as we’ve told this friend time and time again there are ways to fix his situation, he just doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’d rather whine, bitch, moan and complain. Today he was acting like the world was shitting on him and there was nothing he could do about it. Fuck that. You take responsibility for your own actions and for getting yourself into your own messes. Master and I have not always made the best choices, and we have put ourselves into some holes before, but we took responsibility and we did something about it. We still are doing something about it actually.

*deep breath* Work was hectic, so on my lunch break I called Master and vented a bit. He allowed it, and I felt better afterward. It’s amazing when you have that one person in your life that you can just tell anything to, and by just talking and getting it off your chest, you feel better because 1) you didn’t bottle it up and 2) you know that that person actually listened. It’s been over five years, but I’m still getting used to the fact that He actually listens to me. He doesn’t just nod in all of the right places and go “uh-huh”. He offers feedback, He guides me. Not only because He is my Master, but because He is my Husband and He cares. He wants to see me better myself. He doesn’t want me to be extremely stressed out. He wants me to be healthy.

It is like a saying I have.. “Fate only takes you so far, the rest is up to you.” I truly do believe that. There is a domino effect in your life. You make a decision and based on that decision things go a certain way. Then you come to another crossroad and you make another decision, and the domino effect starts all over again. Repeat.

Fate brought Master and I together. From there it was up to us to make it work. I once saw a quote on the internet. I can’t remember who said it but it was something along the lines of, “It is easy to find reasons to give up and leave. Why? Because it is easier to just give up and not have to deal with stress and actually work at it. It is more difficult to find reasons to stay. And that is because the reward is so much greater if you do.” It pertained to relationships, marriages in particular. Again, I believe in that. I believe that the reward is greater because you have put time, effort and emotion into the relationship. You didn’t just walk away when it got tough. I wish more people thought that way. Maybe then our friends wouldn’t have so much drama that they want to lay at our doorstep. Sometimes I think Master and I should buy a psychiatrist’s couch and put it in the living room along with a tip jar and a sign stating our hourly rates. That would be a hell of a way to make some cash.

I got out of work on time tonight, so I came straight home like I always do. Master and I had dinner and He let me vent some more and then we relaxed a bit. I’m glad I’m home and that I am with Master, and our animals. I feel more relaxed. I feel more centered. Tomorrow is another day of work. But hopefully it’ll be a less hectic one.